Issue no 4: 10 advice-filled reads for you

Life lessons from Carol Vorderman, 5 funny TV shows, 3 new thrillers to read, subtle make-up to give good glow, aquick nut roast recipe & tips on tricky mum-in-laws. Plus mothering after breast cancer

Welcome to Issue No 4 of our mini magazine.

‘Bring me sunshine!’ Our favourite compliment from our podcast reviews is when we were called ‘The Menopausal Morecambe & Wise’ so here’s our Christmas tribute to them

Are you too sensitive? The neurology of sensitivity explained

Glossy Go Back: Rihanna’s first British magazine cover

Funny women: 5 short telly shows to binge watch now

Women Talking: How my mothering changed after breast cancer

Three game-changing things we learnt when we met Carol Vorderman

Ask Lorraine & Trish: Klaxon! Handle fussy festive mum-in-laws like this

Tried & Tested: make-up buys we think give good glow

Behind the Scenes: Trish & Lorraine’s 2023 celebs shenanigans

Reading Room: Thrillers a thriller writer wants to read now

Christmas recipes with a twist,  by nutritionist Emma Ellis Flint 

Me at 33: Business boss Holly Tucker’s useful life advice

‘It’s taken me decades to finally come to terms with my sensitivity’

Trish: Have you ever asked yourself the question ‘Who am I’? A few years ago, I did a coaching diploma and in the first session we were asked that very question and told we weren't allowed to use labels like mother, wife, editor, friend, sister, or daughter in our answers. I was flummoxed, my mind, along with everyone else’s in the room, went blank. How could I have been on the planet for nearly half a century, yet have no idea who I really was, or what it meant to be me? Over the six months of the course, we were encouraged to explore different approaches to connecting with our values, our purpose, our character traits and thought patterns, to help us come to our answers, and as I ‘did the work’ it started to become apparent that I’ve always experienced the world in a highly sensitised way - both physically and emotionally. 

I can be so tuned in to sights, sounds, smells and tastes as I go about my day that it can become all consuming. For example, on a trip to Paris for fashion week, I was lucky enough to be staying in a five star hotel but had to change rooms four times in the space of three days. I couldn’t sleep as I became obsessed  by the faintest buzzing sound I’d detected in each room, much to the bafflement of the hotel staff. (Lesson learned, I never go anywhere without my Boots silicone earplugs these days). Another time in a board meeting at the publishing house I worked at, I had to ask a senior colleague to remove her charm bracelet as it was brushing the table and putting my nerves so on edge that I couldn’t think straight - my vision blurred and it was like a void had opened up in my brain and all I could see and hear was that darned bracelet. 

In public spaces, I can be distracted by things that have absolutely nothing to do with me, such as a small child in a hotel restaurant who had pulled her plate to the edge of the table, her parents oblivious to it. I couldn’t focus on the conversation my own family was having as I could see the child out of the corner of my eye and was waiting for a loud crash to happen. My kids accuse me of being nosy, gawping at other people in this way, but it filled me with such anxiety I couldn’t focus on the delicious meal I was there to have with the people I love the most. My sense of smell can also cause all sorts of bother - perfumes sprayed too liberally, Surf washing powder, the faintest of farts! All can make me feel claustrophobic and even panicky. Although  my husband finds my heightened sense of smell rather useful around the house, if he thinks there’s a gas leak or an issue with the electrics or plumbing, he calls me in. One of his pet names for me is ‘Witchsmeller Pursuivant’, which fans of Blackadder will appreciate!

Up until this year, I didn’t really know what to do with this new found understanding of how I experience the world, other than to think maybe I am a bit unusual. But in March, I interviewed a writer called Jenn Granneman for her new book called Sensitive, The Power of a Thoughtful Mind in an Overwhelming World and it was like a lightbulb went on. Jen explained that a third of people have genes that make them both more physically and emotionally sensitive than others, meaning we are very tuned into what is going on in any environment that we are in. Our physical senses are heightened and we are very aware of other people’s behaviours and emotions too, and we can feel things very strongly, whether that’s watching something beautiful like a ballet, or something disturbing like a news story. 

That explained so much to me, having always been a very shy and anxious child who grew into a teenager thinking that my ability to feel strong emotions was a negative thing. My brain was always in overdrive working out what other people were doing, how they were behaving, what they were thinking. By comparing myself to others I could only conclude that the quieter qualities I had, had to be negative or less than. But Jenn put me straight. The point of her book, she said, was to validate and destigmatise how society sees sensitive people and how we sensitive people see ourselves. 

In fact, she says that sensitivity is actually a super power, and there are ‘five mighty gifts’ that all sensitive people are born with: